if…

if siggimus were a rich man, ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
all day long siggimus’d biddy biddy bum, if siggimus were a wealthy man.
siggimus wouldn’t have to work hard! ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. if siggimus were a biddy biddy rich, yidle-diddle-didle-didle man

well, of course the deedle deedle bubba bubba deedle deedle dum goes without saying, but siggimus would also have great trouble sleeping & a growing ulcer & severe depression & an assortment of other smaller ailments

instead siggimus just has his fractured (but quickly healing!!) rib, some eczema, unwieldy hair, a bum back & his trusty, hard-earned debt