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the siggimus times

siggimus ir kustigs?

not that it’s newsworthy anymore, or what?

in this issue:

-news?
-film festival & flag-toting latvians
-the newest siggimus lodgings
-coming up!

news?

as for news, aside from seeing 35-40 films in 8 days, & spending 3 days in hospital, & moving a bit, nothing much has happened

well, siggimus did lose his beloved parker pen, suffering profusely from subsequent writer’s penlessness, but fortunately for posterity, he found it again (as well you can see), to a global sigh of relief

spiderman the burglar

coming home late 10 days ago, siggimus found himself without keys. he tried to ring the designated bell, but either the sound-making apparatus in the doorbell or the sound-hearing apparati of his latvian coinhabitants was out of order. not having as much as a sleeping bag on his siggimus, let alone a pillow or two, siggimus decides against spending a romantic night in the garden. goes outside anyway & ponders his predicament. solution: impersonating spiderman himself in a possibly criminal fashion, siggimus decides to scale the walls: climbs all the way up to his window to fly in like a wee birdie. siggimus has proudly added housebreaking to his list of successful achievements

film fest

since the organisers of arsenals film festival provided siggimus with a siggimus pass to go see all the movies he wanted for free, siggimus obliged them. spent 8 days watching movies after one of which, icelandic ‘angels of the universe’, well attended by icelandic-flag-toting latvians, siggimus had a meal with a few from the audience. there was a tint of surrealism: a swedish teacher of icelandic, with his 6 latvian maiden students of icelandic, asking “what on earth is siggimus doing in riga?”

recohabilitation

for mostly claustrophobic reasons, siggimus saw fit to abandon his dwelling in a closet in the west wing of a friend’s castle

on friday 29 september, siggimus packed his meagre belonging & set off to seek new adventures at a new address. they did indeed arrive, in the form of a 2-room penthouse apartment on the ninth floor of a building that looks like a faded photocopy of the building next to it

much to siggimus’ amazement, the lift has yet to plunge him to his death, but of course it might just be waiting a bit to create suspense

spaciousness was not the sole reason for the move, doubling the siggimus rent to a whopping $60. enchanting tales of hot water magically pouring forth directly from the taps without any great prior physical exertion played its fair share in enticing siggimus over. flatmate niks kolmans’ (english reporter’s post-latvian-assimilation name) foreswearances to the contrary did little to appease siggimus when said luxury failed to materialise upon demand. siggimus exercised the by now well-honed siggimus patience, before giving up and heating kettlefulls of water, pouring them in the bathtub, and splashing around in the resulting puddle

siggimus refused to shave in peaceful protest when, half an hour later he would have had all the water he wanted had he wanted any water

the flat is bright & spacious: two large rooms; a balcony; a kitchen with a gas stove, sink & a refrigerator that sounds like two tractors through a bullhorn; separate bathroom & toilet (of course with the obligatory odour neutraliser pre-installed; orange & lemon scent); & a very liberating lack of anything that could be mistaken, or in fact taken, for furniture

again, siggimus as the tiniest complaint. as liberating as this lack of furniture is, giving one a rare chance to water the little interior designer that we all carry around inside ourselves, it provides siggimus with an inhibiting lack of variety in horizontal surfaces. siggimus is the kind of siggimus that likes to put things on top of other things as much as the next siggimus, if not even a bit more. but this is a pastime that soon loses its charm when siggimus really has only one thing to put things on top of: the floor. worst of all is the lack of a suitable thing to put a siggimus on top of

siggimus refuses to complain about the floor. that would be silly. this is just a floor like any other floor, and not noticeably harder or softer than the average floor. besides, he knows full well from recent experience that it isn’t until the third night you sleep on a hard surface that you start to have serious trouble sleeping

coming up:

siggimus will be spending 5-8 october in beloved helsinki, finland. a conference has been put on by fans of siggimus in finland, with the aid of friends in iceland that long to see a bit of him

to book appointments, call +371 9 299 814, sms +371 9 299 814, e-mail siggimus@hotmail.com, or visit siggimus in your own person, at rudens iela 12, apartment 34. it’s in plavnieki, riga 🙂 [yet again, your attention must be drawn to the present state of defunctedness of said phone numbers]

next edition:

-3 days in a latvian hospital
-something
-finland maybe
so, farewell for now, & good night to all the world

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