Tag: elevators

so, you are all holding your breath, waiting for news of siggimus — did he survive or did he not?

well, we won’t give away the ending, but it was indeed quite an ordeal

it was a test-run to see if siggimus was up to bicycling to job #2

see, on may 6 a country-wide ‘bicycle to work’ program starts. the people at siggimus job #2 are fanatic about this (frankly, a few of them are bordering on insane). they do not take the shortest route. they take the longest route possible that still lets them get a couple of hours of sleep in between working & bicycling, visiting remote places. some are rumoured to be upset they live on an island

the threats were of course vague & unspecific, for those are the most powerful

anyway, let’s just all agree that not participating in ‘bicycle to work’ is not an option

so, siggimus decided to do some warm-up

going there was nothing & siggimus does not worry one bit about that bit

none of the 7 or so km, as 95% of it is downhill

returning, on the other hand …

well, there was headwind

not a light breeze, or even a gentle breeze. no, you wouldn’t even call this a fresh breeze!

this was the real stuff. you’d call it a fresh to moderate gale

in case you don’t know, for a big man like siggimus this is like bicycling uphill with the brakes on

& after about 15 mins of that, it was time to ascend the mountain, on top of which siggimus bought an apartment a few years back, as if he never even contemplated owning a bicycle

well, siggimus paid the price for such foolish thinking, or should he say, such foolish lack of thinking

there was a near-death experience

but at that point, siggimus simply got off the bike & walked for about 50-75 metres or so – catching breath & drinking water to drown out the taste of blood. not bad, walking 75 metres out of 15 km

legs were a bit rubbery as he got off the bike, but they worked & that’s what matters. managed to get him into the elevator

so, to finally give away the ending, siggimus survived, for he is a survivor

Myndskilaboð, originally uploaded by siggimus.

walking up to the 9th floor in plavnieki because of broken elevator is pure, blissful nostalgia

work-meeting from 1-6
then off to spa, to sit in hot tub & have a relaxing shoulder massage (incidentally from a dude that looks eerily like that pervy guy in top secret! …erm, he’s the blondie next to brooke shields – was also in blue lagoon!)
to fancy restaurant downstairs
swedish moose (elk?) for entrée
catfish (or seawolf?) with chips for main course
downy birch ice cream for dessert

downy birch leaf!

then back to the bar for one more drink
& maybe 1 more
possibly maybe even 1 more more

h.jakob&h.batman want to go downtown, but siggimus decides to go home, being old & invited to one of the many weddings on 070707

en route downtown, h.jakob&h.batmann decide to stop by at work to drop off some valuables & clothing. no big prob, only when they enter, nightwatch/sister of siggimus rears her sleepy & groggy head asking, whatthefuck??

turns out it was just past 2 am

eventually, siggimus gets home & finds a long awaited letter (:D) in mailbox & heart misses a few beats before going to hyperspeed

so, there is excitement on the ride up to 5th floor by elevator, the letter is ogled & plans made for where to read it

then as he steps out of elevator, siggimus drops keys to floor

or rather where floor should be

it takes a while to sink in, & siggimus stands for a few minutes staring at that tiny little fucken slit between floor & elevator in complete & utter disbelief

even after they can be heard landing, 5 floors down, siggimus refuses to fucken believe

for a few minutes siggimus just stares into the slim black hole. the key-hole

then looks at the letter & thinks, oh, no! now he can’t read your letter!!

that’s not going to happen, so he just says fuck it, sits down in the hall & tear it open

it is slow going as he has to get up every 15 seconds or so to turn the lights in the hallway on again

wait!
there is an extra key!
& it’s next door!

somebody’s not going to be happy about this phone call…

siggimus walks the short walk over & as he takes up the phone to dial he notices it’s 2.45 in the morning :

after 7-8 long rings, there is a grumpy answer & out comes a sleepy & groggy motherhead to hand over spare key. siggimus makes excuses & explains surreality of situation. there is near laughter

aforementioned black hole

ever since, siggimus has been extra careful when entering or exiting the mouth of that monster, with its black hole waiting to eat his valuables. he puts everything in some pocket with zipper on it & zips it shut & puts hand over zipper & runs in or out of that creepy cubicle with lightning speed

aforementioned black hole, close-up

Publish Post

note that this is not the first time siggimus runs into complications with elevators

of course the best way to avoid such a thing is to get a key chain that’s too big to fit down that thing
now where can a siggimus find a brick…?