although the ‘cycle to work’ project has long ended, siggimus heroically & unselfishly still cycles to work a lot. you could say it’s to save the environment, you could say he’s a good man. actually, you could say a lot of things about siggimus, all but three of them good
this has unwittingly put him on a rollercoaster ride of life, with hair-raising ups & gut-wrenching downs
let us examine two random examples from the last 25 hours
25 hours ago
being the superhero he is, siggimus managed personal best time ever, 00:16:00 – sixteen minutes flat
without even trying so much
an admirable feat considering how it took just over 21 mins the first time he cycled that route. & in all probability this is a world record, although siggimus is of course too modest to claim it
a superhuman feat considering his best time before that was 00:16:42. he bested his best time a whole 42 seconds. usain bolt, busain smolt
this means an average speed of 26,3 km/h. slightly less than bolt’s average, but bolt didn’t have to go through a near vertical maze of a graveyard, so there
30 mins ago
the morning was humid
dark clouds secretly gathered in the distance, evilly plotting to thwart siggimuses happy plans & rain on his parade & bug him a bit
blissfully unaware of the plotting of the clouds, siggimus heads out in good spirit, merrily cycling away over the wet asphalt, joyfully circumventing any & all puddles, sufjan stevens caressing both of his ears gently
flies past bónus, burns through yard, crosses that street, dring-dring!-get-out-of-siggimuses-important-way,-man!
clouds a-plotting
whooooooshes! down hill that’s much less fun when you come the other way
clouds cease their foul plotting & get ready to smite
siggimus is approx. 50 cm onto that fateful other street when suddenly, as if by pure cloud-magic, a tiny but sturdy car that wasn’t there before appears out of nowhere, heading directly for siggimus in a slow, but determined fashion, aiming to maim him in the awfullest of ways, leaving him incapable of cycling or baking betty crocker ever again
with the agility and swiftness of a cat, siggimus swerves out of way, activates turbo-legs & (ironically!) in a burst of cloud, disappears out of the way of that tiny but sturdy killing machine, whose navigator looked pale as a bucket
another day, another near death experience
thankfully siggimus has a broad back & strong bones in it. mere humans would likely crack under this kind of stress
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