Blog

uffa, originally uploaded by siggimus.

don’t really want to touch that :/

brrr, originally uploaded by siggimus.

at least siggimus is inside ornella

old siggimusmobile!, originally uploaded by siggimus.

is back in circulation!!

tihi 🙂

damn!, originally uploaded by siggimus.

even when siggimus fucken wins, he doesn’t fucken win 🙁

five fuckers won – there was a special fucken draw with special
bingo-fucken cards

getting 0-63, siggimus was fairly fucken optimistic, as the highest
fucken possible card is 0-74

but all his hopes & dreams were swiftly fucken crushed when fucken
siggigunn fucken came & fucken drew fucken 0-72

yay!, originally uploaded by siggimus.

siggimus keeps winning shit!

doesn’t he?

erm…, originally uploaded by siggimus.

how does this stuff work?

what has siggimus won?

last saturday, siggimus panics ever so slightly when the clutch of ornella refuses to play ball – it doesn’t come back up as planned

siggimus steps on it again & lifts again & it still doesn’t come up!

siggimus stomps on it a few times, grrr-ing a bit, until it finally pops up quickly, with that pleasant grinding noise of metal teeth to metal teeth

well – thinks siggimus to himself – all teeth need a little brushing, right?

anyhoo, driving around, this keeps happening, but not consistently. it feels as if the clutch is catching on to something – like there’s a groove somewhere or whatever

fucken fuck, siggimus calmly contemplates to himself
siggimus has no money to spend on things like fixing a brand new(ish) ornella muti

sunday night, siggimus goes to theatre
ugh! problem does not seem to have solved itself

driving like this means you have to really be on your toes. all your senses must be performing at their peak – your eyes on the lookout – your ears listening for oncoming hostile traffic – your nose sniffing for any whiff of fear – your toes feeling around the clutch, looking for signs of renewed will to cooperate – all of this simultaneously & at the same time!

to survive this, siggimus will need to muster all his cat-like agility, his hawk-like eyesight, his polarbear-like sense of smell & his acute sense of touch

but given time, the stress & tension will wear down even a sturdy man like siggimus
so, driving to work on monday morning, siggimus plans a call to the dealership – ornella needs fixing & siggimus has always been known for taking care of his women

returning to ornella after a difficult day at work, siggimus remembers the plan

crawling into ornella, he prays to his gods that she be cured
his prayers go unanswered

fucken fuck again!!

siggimus is not happy about this & takes a closer look
siggimus even gets out of the car to get an even closer look
siggimus keeps praying to his gods during all this
during all this, siggimus notices that the floormat is a bit out of place – messing up the symmetry of this wonderful creation
hmmm – so it isn’t fixed to the floor after all!
siggimus adjusts the floormat a bit, returning harmony to the world of ornella muti

then siggimus returns his attention to the clutch of ornella & resorts to desperate measures

siggimus shakes furious fists in the air, thundering out ‘damn you!!’ to evil creatures & beings everywhere

after calming down a bit, siggimus crawls back into ornella, to coach her into life with smooth, gentle, even slightly erotic, touch

vroom vroom!

since this, siggimus has had no ornella problems whatsoever

which just goes to show you what a bit of gods-cursing & some gentle man-touching can do

so, today’s horoscope said that siggimus would be offered payment for something he would do for free any day

but it’s getting late, & still noone has offered to pay siggimus money for the two things this could apply to

namely sex & nose-picking