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lisa: but dad, you promised to take us to the lake!?

homer: i promise you kids lots of things – that’s what makes me such a great father

bucket, originally uploaded by siggimus.

it’s been quite a while since siggimus bought a bucket of something

but today, siggimus bought a bucket of salt!!

yes, siggimus bought a bucket of salt

& put it in the bathroom!!

apparently this stuff is great for marinating an aching siggimus

soon siggimus shall see

ps: it would probably have been more impressive to say siggimus bought a bucket of magnesium sulfate

pps: finally siggimus can throw caution to the reckless wind & not lose any more sleep worrying about barium!

great thing about being ill is day-time tv

some of the channels siggimus has access to have real proper day-time tv

best of all, is trisha:

I’ve bought loads of baby clothes … you can’t bar me from being a dad!
sammy walked out on her ex andrew after he beat her up whilst she was pregnant. sammy says andrew isn’t fit to be a dad, and says he’s made her live in a shed, a tent and then a camper van for 8 months. however andrew’s best friend jonny claims it’s sammy who’s going to be a bad mum and describes her as coming from a family of scumbags. what happens when they come face to face today?

i confess i planned a bisexual foursome … but i’d never pick up strangers for sex!
pete claims that he was only being charitable when he offered a strange girl a bed for the night… the trouble is it was his bed, and he was in it too! he claims that they slept fully clothed, but girlfriend charlene suspects they were up to no good. her suspicions are further aroused by his fixation on foursomes…

trisha has a practically open invitation to dna & lie detector tests

well, sometimes, siggimus gets a craving for a bit of trisha

like, when siggimus needs iron, siggimus craves cheerios or liver or something

& when siggimus is getting overly optimistic about the state of things – when he starts to feel too good about the world! – he promptly gets struck down by illness, stays at home for a few days like a mindless drone, watches the scum of the earth arguing about who slept with whose sister or how many children someone has with her mother’s boyfriend. things are back to normal & siggimus is back to being a cynical fuck

erm … what’s a bisexual foursome & how do you plan one?

you gotta be absolutely sure

best, originally uploaded by siggimus.

thing about swollen throats

‘danskir brjóstdropar’ translates to ‘danish boob-drops’

& ‘hristist’ to ‘shake’

makes for an interesting evening…

on a fence

or more like wobbling on a fence

one one side is health, with a slight irritation in throat

on the other is headache, bone ache, fever, difficulty in getting even water through swollen throat & time in bed

fireman, originally uploaded by siggimus.

smurf

washing, originally uploaded by siggimus.

machine money

first, looks fast

second, tainted levi’s love

third, sad lamp

second two by spike jonze

hmmm
that chick is actually … erm, fondling that zombie’s … eh, pecker

no, wait!
heh! there was something seriously wrong with that image!

there’s no chick pleasuring a zombie at all!!

he’s a mummy!!
a completely different matter altogether!

mummy-porn is a bit freaky

hmm, now there’s a vampire chick playing what looks like a real a fun game with a blonde naked chick
she’s sucking … no, that’s not blood

here we go!
the coffin opens up & a vampire crawls out, with cape & everything

oops!
his fly is open!
somebody tell him before his peepee falls out

too late! clumsy!!

hey!! … careful where you put those pointy, pointy teeth, vampire chick!

phew!
his little friend went unscathed — that was definitely not blood :/

hmmm, isn’t it the vampire that’s supposed to suck the victim?

& don’t they usually suck blood? & from the neck or something? … like, not from the groin area

this must be some new, special swedish, way of converting humans to vampirism

hmmm
witnessing the undead mating — on or off tv — is probably a sign it’s time for some rest