Category: nothing

7 mins ago
yay

with greeting from motorcycle mama

or jar city

the ultimate sign that you’ve made it big?

in the bag!

mobile phones are, sadly, a fib

apparently, siggimus got all tangled up in the great mobile phone popcorn-popping swindle

it’s a crying shame, because now how will you make popcorn in a tent??

& as for boiling an egg with 100 mobile phones, well, at least it’s great fun to try it:

here’s why it doesn’t work

ps: if you ever attempt the popping-corn experiment – feel free to invite siggimus, who might even bring a movie …

… & watch it, while you try your best because the great mobile phone popcorn-popping swindle was a (great!) marketing hoax

excellent advice that siggimus could have used a few years ago:

only borrow money to pay for things that increase in value

pop!

lesson learnt?
well, siggimus will try to keep the number those things close to his impressive brain below 3…

[update! finally a great way to make poporn when you’re camping!!]

[even updater! doesn’t work in real life :(]

[even even updatest! culprit has confessed]

siggimus remembers being impressed by the song title there’s a tear in my beer ’cause i’m cryin’ for you dear

& later, i’m feeling empty as a hole

anyhoo, some of the following are a clear indication of the brain-rot the worst kind of country music gives you, although siggimus must admit there is a chance that up to two of them are ironic (excuse siggimus profusely if some of them are twice :/)

get your tongue outta my mouth ’cause i’m kissing you goodbye

how can i miss you if you won’t go away?

i don’t know whether to kill myself or go bowling

i just bought a car from the guy that stole my girl, but the car don’t run so i figure we got an even deal

i keep forgettin’ i forgot about you

i liked you better before i knew you so well

i still miss you, baby, but my aim’s gettin’ better

i wouldn’t take her to a dog fight, ’cause i’m afraid she’d win

i’m so miserable without you, it’s like havin’ you here

i’ve got tears in my ears from lyin’ on my back and cryin’ over you

if i can’t be number one in your life, then number two on you

mama, get a hammer (there’s a fly on papa’s head)

my head hurts, my feet stink, and i don’t love you

my wife ran off with my best friend, and i sure do miss him

please bypass this heart

she got the ring and i got the finger

you done tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat

you’re the reason our kids are so ugly

if the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me

i wouldn’t take her to a dog fight, cause i’m afraid she’d win

i’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart

she feels like a new man tonight

i may be used (but baby i ain’t used up)

i’m the only hell mama ever raised

you changed your name from brown to jones,
and mine from brown to blue

the last word in lonesome is “me”

do you love as good as you look

i’ll marry you tomorrow but let’s honeymoon tonight

who’s makin’ time with the time keeper’s daughter, when the time keeper’s keepin’ time?

my shoes keep walkin’ back to you

you stuck my heart in a old tin can and shot it off a log

and there was grandma, swingin’ on the outhouse door, without a shirt on

how can i miss you when you won’t go away?

i’d rather pass a kidney stone than another night with you

why do you believe me when i tell you that i love you when you know i’ve been a liar all my life?

he’s been drunk since his wife’s gone punk

she got the gold mine and i got the shaft

come out of the wheatfield nelly, you’re going against the grain

my wife ran off with my best friend and i sure do miss him

i changed her oil, she changed my life

drop kick me, jesus, through the goalposts of life

thank god and greyhound she’s gone

if you don’t leave me alone i’ll go and find someone else who will

i’ve got the hungries for your love and i’m waiting in your welfare line

i fell in a pile of you and got love all over me

she offered her honor, he honored her offer, and all through the night it was honor and offer

get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in bed

thanks to the cathouse, i’m in the doghouse with you

they may put me in prison
but they can’t stop my face from breaking out

my john deere was breaking your field
while your dear john was breaking my heart

i was looking back to see if you were looking back to see if i was looking back to see if you were looking back at me

take me to the corn field honey
and i’ll kiss you between the ears

take me to the quarry and i’ll get a little bolder

the beer i had for breakfast is comin’ back for lunch

we used to just kiss on the lips but now it’s all over

you can’t deal me all the aces and expect me not to play

you done me wrong, but keep on doing it ‘til you do it right

you were only a splinter as i slid down the bannister of life.

i don’t care if it rains or freezes ‘long as i have my plastic jesus sittin’ on the dashboard of my car

i sat down on a beartrap (just this morning)

jim, i wore a tie today

my phone ain’t been ringing, so i guess it wasn’t you

redneck martians stole my baby

she thinks my tractor’s sexy

you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd

whatcha gonna do with a dog like that?

you gotta quit kickin’ my dog around

how much is that hound dog in the winder?

how come your dog bites nobody but me?

my bucket’s got a hole in it

i’m my own grandpa

don’t monkey with another monkey’s monkey

don’t get above your raisin

does the spearmint lose it’s flavor on the bed post overnight?

take your finger out of it, it don’t belong to you

i hate every bone in her body but mine

i ain’t never gone to bed with an ugly woman but i woke up with a few

if the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me

i’ve missed you, but my aim’s improvin’

i’m so miserable without you it’s like you’re still here

my wife ran off with my best friend and i miss him

took my ring and gave me the finger

she’s lookin’ better with every beer

it’s hard to kiss the lips at night that chewed my ass out all day long

balances itself out, right?

of the fittest m&m

gmail demo video – in russian