siggimus remembers being impressed by the song title there’s a tear in my beer ’cause i’m cryin’ for you dear
& later, i’m feeling empty as a hole
anyhoo, some of the following are a clear indication of the brain-rot the worst kind of country music gives you, although siggimus must admit there is a chance that up to two of them are ironic (excuse siggimus profusely if some of them are twice :/)
get your tongue outta my mouth ’cause i’m kissing you goodbye
how can i miss you if you won’t go away?
i don’t know whether to kill myself or go bowling
i just bought a car from the guy that stole my girl, but the car don’t run so i figure we got an even deal
i keep forgettin’ i forgot about you
i liked you better before i knew you so well
i still miss you, baby, but my aim’s gettin’ better
i wouldn’t take her to a dog fight, ’cause i’m afraid she’d win
i’m so miserable without you, it’s like havin’ you here
i’ve got tears in my ears from lyin’ on my back and cryin’ over you
if i can’t be number one in your life, then number two on you
mama, get a hammer (there’s a fly on papa’s head)
my head hurts, my feet stink, and i don’t love you
my wife ran off with my best friend, and i sure do miss him
please bypass this heart
she got the ring and i got the finger
you done tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat
you’re the reason our kids are so ugly
if the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me
i wouldn’t take her to a dog fight, cause i’m afraid she’d win
i’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart
she feels like a new man tonight
i may be used (but baby i ain’t used up)
i’m the only hell mama ever raised
you changed your name from brown to jones,
and mine from brown to blue
the last word in lonesome is “me”
do you love as good as you look
i’ll marry you tomorrow but let’s honeymoon tonight
who’s makin’ time with the time keeper’s daughter, when the time keeper’s keepin’ time?
my shoes keep walkin’ back to you
you stuck my heart in a old tin can and shot it off a log
and there was grandma, swingin’ on the outhouse door, without a shirt on
how can i miss you when you won’t go away?
i’d rather pass a kidney stone than another night with you
why do you believe me when i tell you that i love you when you know i’ve been a liar all my life?
he’s been drunk since his wife’s gone punk
she got the gold mine and i got the shaft
come out of the wheatfield nelly, you’re going against the grain
my wife ran off with my best friend and i sure do miss him
i changed her oil, she changed my life
drop kick me, jesus, through the goalposts of life
thank god and greyhound she’s gone
if you don’t leave me alone i’ll go and find someone else who will
i’ve got the hungries for your love and i’m waiting in your welfare line
i fell in a pile of you and got love all over me
she offered her honor, he honored her offer, and all through the night it was honor and offer
get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in bed
thanks to the cathouse, i’m in the doghouse with you
they may put me in prison
but they can’t stop my face from breaking out
my john deere was breaking your field
while your dear john was breaking my heart
i was looking back to see if you were looking back to see if i was looking back to see if you were looking back at me
take me to the corn field honey
and i’ll kiss you between the ears
take me to the quarry and i’ll get a little bolder
the beer i had for breakfast is comin’ back for lunch
we used to just kiss on the lips but now it’s all over
you can’t deal me all the aces and expect me not to play
you done me wrong, but keep on doing it ‘til you do it right
you were only a splinter as i slid down the bannister of life.
i don’t care if it rains or freezes ‘long as i have my plastic jesus sittin’ on the dashboard of my car
i sat down on a beartrap (just this morning)
jim, i wore a tie today
my phone ain’t been ringing, so i guess it wasn’t you
redneck martians stole my baby
she thinks my tractor’s sexy
you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
whatcha gonna do with a dog like that?
you gotta quit kickin’ my dog around
how much is that hound dog in the winder?
how come your dog bites nobody but me?
my bucket’s got a hole in it
i’m my own grandpa
don’t monkey with another monkey’s monkey
don’t get above your raisin
does the spearmint lose it’s flavor on the bed post overnight?
take your finger out of it, it don’t belong to you
i hate every bone in her body but mine
i ain’t never gone to bed with an ugly woman but i woke up with a few
if the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me
i’ve missed you, but my aim’s improvin’
i’m so miserable without you it’s like you’re still here
my wife ran off with my best friend and i miss him
took my ring and gave me the finger
she’s lookin’ better with every beer
it’s hard to kiss the lips at night that chewed my ass out all day long