{"id":1590,"date":"2008-06-07T14:46:00","date_gmt":"2008-06-07T14:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vu2057.freddie.1984.is\/siggimustest\/2008\/06\/empty-as-a-hole\/"},"modified":"2011-07-21T06:21:51","modified_gmt":"2011-07-21T06:21:51","slug":"empty-as-a-hole","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/2008\/06\/07\/empty-as-a-hole\/","title":{"rendered":"empty as a hole"},"content":{"rendered":"

siggimus remembers being impressed by the song title there’s a tear in my beer ’cause i’m cryin’ for you dear<\/span><\/p>\n

& later, i’m feeling empty as a hole<\/span><\/p>\n

anyhoo, some of the following are a clear indication of the brain-rot the worst kind of country music gives you, although siggimus must admit there is a chance that up to two of them are ironic (excuse siggimus profusely if some of them are twice :\/)<\/p>\n

get your tongue outta my mouth ’cause i’m kissing you goodbye<\/p>\n

how can i miss you if you won’t go away?<\/p>\n

i don’t know whether to kill myself or go bowling<\/p>\n

i just bought a car from the guy that stole my girl, but the car don’t run so i figure we got an even deal<\/p>\n

i keep forgettin’ i forgot about you<\/p>\n

i liked you better before i knew you so well<\/p>\n

i still miss you, baby, but my aim’s gettin’ better<\/p>\n

i wouldn’t take her to a dog fight, ’cause i’m afraid she’d win<\/p>\n

i’m so miserable without you, it’s like havin’ you here<\/p>\n

i’ve got tears in my ears from lyin’ on my back and cryin’ over you<\/p>\n

if i can’t be number one in your life, then number two on you<\/p>\n

mama, get a hammer (there’s a fly on papa’s head)<\/p>\n

my head hurts, my feet stink, and i don’t love you<\/p>\n

my wife ran off with my best friend, and i sure do miss him<\/p>\n

please bypass this heart<\/p>\n

she got the ring and i got the finger<\/p>\n

you done tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat<\/p>\n

you’re the reason our kids are so ugly<\/p>\n

if the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me<\/p>\n

i wouldn\u2019t take her to a dog fight, cause i\u2019m afraid she\u2019d win<\/p>\n

i\u2019ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart<\/p>\n

she feels like a new man tonight<\/p>\n

i may be used (but baby i ain\u2019t used up)<\/p>\n

i\u2019m the only hell mama ever raised<\/p>\n

you changed your name from brown to jones,
and mine from brown to blue<\/p>\n

the last word in lonesome is \u201cme\u201d<\/p>\n

do you love as good as you look<\/p>\n

i\u2019ll marry you tomorrow but let\u2019s honeymoon tonight<\/p>\n

who\u2019s makin\u2019 time with the time keeper\u2019s daughter, when the time keeper\u2019s keepin\u2019 time?<\/p>\n

my shoes keep walkin\u2019 back to you<\/p>\n

you stuck my heart in a old tin can and shot it off a log<\/p>\n

and there was grandma, swingin\u2019 on the outhouse door, without a shirt on<\/p>\n

how can i miss you when you won\u2019t go away?<\/p>\n

i\u2019d rather pass a kidney stone than another night with you<\/p>\n

why do you believe me when i tell you that i love you when you know i\u2019ve been a liar all my life?<\/p>\n

he\u2019s been drunk since his wife\u2019s gone punk<\/p>\n

she got the gold mine and i got the shaft<\/p>\n

come out of the wheatfield nelly, you\u2019re going against the grain<\/p>\n

my wife ran off with my best friend and i sure do miss him<\/p>\n

i changed her oil, she changed my life<\/p>\n

drop kick me, jesus, through the goalposts of life<\/p>\n

thank god and greyhound she\u2019s gone<\/p>\n

if you don\u2019t leave me alone i\u2019ll go and find someone else who will<\/p>\n

i\u2019ve got the hungries for your love and i\u2019m waiting in your welfare line<\/p>\n

i fell in a pile of you and got love all over me<\/p>\n

she offered her honor, he honored her offer, and all through the night it was honor and offer<\/p>\n

get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in bed<\/p>\n

thanks to the cathouse, i\u2019m in the doghouse with you<\/p>\n

they may put me in prison
but they can\u2019t stop my face from breaking out<\/p>\n

my john deere was breaking your field
while your dear john was breaking my heart<\/p>\n

i was looking back to see if you were looking back to see if i was looking back to see if you were looking back at me<\/p>\n

take me to the corn field honey
and i\u2019ll kiss you between the ears<\/p>\n

take me to the quarry and i\u2019ll get a little bolder<\/p>\n

the beer i had for breakfast is comin\u2019 back for lunch<\/p>\n

we used to just kiss on the lips but now it\u2019s all over<\/p>\n

you can\u2019t deal me all the aces and expect me not to play<\/p>\n

you done me wrong, but keep on doing it \u2018til you do it right<\/p>\n

you were only a splinter as i slid down the bannister of life.<\/p>\n

i don\u2019t care if it rains or freezes \u2018long as i have my plastic jesus sittin\u2019 on the dashboard of my car<\/p>\n

i sat down on a beartrap (just this morning)<\/p>\n

jim, i wore a tie today<\/p>\n

my phone ain\u2019t been ringing, so i guess it wasn\u2019t you<\/p>\n

redneck martians stole my baby<\/p>\n

she thinks my tractor\u2019s sexy<\/p>\n

you can\u2019t roller skate in a buffalo herd<\/p>\n

whatcha gonna do with a dog like that?<\/p>\n

you gotta quit kickin’ my dog around<\/p>\n

how much is that hound dog in the winder?<\/p>\n

how come your dog bites nobody but me?<\/p>\n

my bucket’s got a hole in it<\/p>\n

i’m my own grandpa<\/p>\n

don’t monkey with another monkey’s monkey<\/p>\n

don’t get above your raisin<\/p>\n

does the spearmint lose it’s flavor on the bed post overnight?<\/p>\n

take your finger out of it, it don’t belong to you<\/p>\n

i hate every bone in her body but mine<\/p>\n

i ain\u2019t never gone to bed with an ugly woman but i woke up with a few<\/p>\n

if the phone don\u2019t ring, you\u2019ll know it\u2019s me<\/p>\n

i\u2019ve missed you, but my aim\u2019s improvin\u2019<\/p>\n

i\u2019m so miserable without you it\u2019s like you\u2019re still here<\/p>\n

my wife ran off with my best friend and i miss him<\/p>\n

took my ring and gave me the finger<\/p>\n

she\u2019s lookin\u2019 better with every beer<\/p>\n

it\u2019s hard to kiss the lips at night that chewed my ass out all day long<\/p>\n

from siggimus.blogspot.com<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

siggimus remembers being impressed by the song title there’s a tear in my beer ’cause i’m cryin’ for you dear & later, i’m feeling empty as a hole anyhoo, some of the following are a clear indication of the brain-rot the worst kind of country music gives you, although siggimus must admit there is a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nothing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pcQPg2-pE","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1590","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1590"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1590\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5174,"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1590\/revisions\/5174"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1590"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1590"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siggimus.com\/siggimus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1590"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}